umbluemusic (umbluemusic) wrote in thequestionclub,
umbluemusic
umbluemusic
thequestionclub

Ok, TQC, I need some dating advice.


So I met a guy on OKCupid who was awesome. We had a week's worth of really great conversations, both messaging and over the phone, and we went on a date the following Monday. It was like...the most perfect date I've been on in a long time. We had sushi, got blizzards at DQ, then we went back to his place to play Rock Band with his roommate and his girlfriend. We ended up playing Gin Rummy after they went to sleep (this was like, a marathon date and a half) and I was really into it, so we ended up fooling around and sleeping together.

Cue the next morning - he drives me to go get my car so I can get to work, we talk about future dates, he kisses me goodbye and says what a good time he has - and it all felt very sincere. I waited a day, and sent him a text on Wednesday joking about something or other. No response, but he isn't a big texter - he prefers to talk on the phone, so I figured he was just busy. Then Thursday I sent him a message asking if he'd like to join my puppy and I on our Epic!Fail Hike of Doom, and he informed me that he was really sorry, but he was now exclusively dating someone. I was super upset, and I've had a wake of ex-boyfriend drama this week that has really made me feel as though no one could ever care about me. I've been resisting the urge to message him for the past week but then this night, I saw he was online, and I caved.

He asked me to call him on the phone so he could explain the situation, because I asked him what I had done to make him go so hot to so cold in such a short time. I also told him that I felt like his excuse felt like a cop out, and that his sudden relationship really came out of left field and made me feel like it was just an excuse to dump me. So I called him, and we talked for about a half an hour. Basically, he said he went out with me and had a great time on Monday, and then he went out with this girl on Wednesday and had a great time too, but that they talked about being exclusive and he was scared and so when I texted him he was abrupt. He said after a couple days they realized they had rushed into it too fast, and so they are now just dating and are dating other people as well. He said he really felt bad about the situation and how it must have seemed to me. I told him that its fine, and if he really is more interested in her than me then I just need to deal with my insecurities and I apologized for bothering him tonight. He said that he actually would like to hang out again, and wanted to know if I'd be interested in that.

So TQC, what should I do? The thing is, I AM interested in it. I have talked to dozens of guys, been on dates with a fair few, and none of them made me feel as happy as this one. I told him I'd like to think about it more, and he said that if I wanted to text him tomorrow and then we could talk on the phone some more, I could do that. I told him that I think hanging out as friends and going a ton slower than that first date would be a definite requirement though, because part of what had me so hung up was that I didn't think he was the type of person to use someone. I'm so conflicted right now, because I felt so comfortable with him and even if we just wound up as friends, at least I'd still be able to have the great conversations we started with. However, I'm also not sure if we can really go back to just being friends since I'm still nursing my monster crush on him, and he says he is still interested as well.

tl;dr - What is your favorite IKEA product name? Mine is totally the DOMBAS, because we called them "Dumbasses" when they went on sale and we had people coming out of the woodwork to purchase dozens of them at a time. I mean, $49.99 for a wardrobe is good, don't get me wrong, but still. Crazy.

Also - I am totally prepared for multiple people to call me stupid. I am probably very stupid for considering trying this again, right?
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