My relationship with my mother has always been contentious at best. I figured that as an adult who had been living out in the real world without her for 5 years, I would be equipped enough to handle things better than I did as a teenager. I'm certainly easier to live with now than as a drug-addled 16 year old. I also assumed (silly me) that my mother would be able to handle the fact that I am an adult now and don't need to be "parented," per se.
I was wrong. All the things that annoyed me as a bratty child but were in her rights as my mother are now inappropriate and really pissing me off; its becoming unbearable for both of us. For example, my mother: goes through my trash looking for receipts and price tags. Using "putting away laundry" as an excuse to look in my dresser drawers. Spooning food onto my plate without asking if I'd like any or getting angry at me for not being hungry (I have a history of issues with food). Peeking into my bedroom at night to see if I am sleeping--and if I am not, bitching at me for "being up so late." Calling medical offices to confirm my appointments "because she didn't know if I was going to remember." I'm a fucking adult, if I don't remember its my fucking problem and you have no right to call my doctor on my behalf! (That one was this morning and the reason for my current annoyed mood).
So, TCQ, do you have any advice for me? We have tried having a dual session with each of our individual therapists, I have tried making concessions like calling to check in and giving her a phone number where I'll be, even though I don't really think she has the right to demand this information anymore. I am trying to be mindful and respectful of the fact that I am living in her house and that she is doing me a huge favor in letting me be here. But I am at my wits end with her invasive behavior. Help?
tl;dr--Forced to move back home with mother. Unable to adequately handle her massively invasive behavior that people thought was invasive even when I was a bratty child. Need advice.