Avery W. Krouse (averypenguin) wrote in thequestionclub,
Avery W. Krouse

Email Forwards

Have you ever been the original author of one of those things that gets forwarded around the internet like crazy? Any sources for proof or reference?

I actually wrote a thing called "A Form Letter for Spam Email" and submitted it to Mikey's Funnies, a daily funny email newsletter. He sent it out on 6.16.05. I've since spotted around the net via google a few other times, like here, here, and here, and on christianguitar.org. You can google either my name or the title to get a few hits for it. Here's the original joke:


Hello (insert a misspelling of the recipient's name here),

My name is (insert has-been celebrity's name here). I'm writing to you on behalf of (insert completely unhe?rd-of worthy cause's name here).

If you click on (insert mysterious and suspicious link here) today, not only will you donate (insert insignificant amount of money in cents here) for each click, but you'll also receive (insert ridiculously-low new mortgage rate here) and (insert phenomenal body enhancement here)!

Not only that, you'll be eligible to win a brand new (insert hot, trendy electronic gadget here), a (insert next year here) model (insert insanely expensive car brand here)! Act now, we have only (insert very low but still appealing quantity here) left to give away!

Also, if you click on (insert even more mysterious and suspicious link here) within the next (insert amazingly-soon amount of time here), you'll be entered into our drawing for (insert relatively high, but still seemingly feasible quantity of money here)! That's right, by trying out a 30-day sample of (insert new, snazzy wonder-drug here), not only will you (insert miracle of health or well-being that couldn't possibly come from previously inserted drug here), but you'll help rescue (insert practically unbelievable quantity of a relatively small country's population here) from widespread (insert globally challenging, heart-tugging disease or living condition here).

This (insert candy-coated terminology for the word "spam" here) was brought to you by (insert name of also completely unheard-of company with the word "marketing" or some other legitimate-sounding term here). If you'd like to unsubscribe from future mailings, please write to (insert P.O. Box address from either a major metropolitan city in New England or a backwoods, one-stop-sign town in the middle of nowhere). You can also click (insert one final mysterious and suspicious link designed to quadruple your "future mailings" here) to unsubscribe.

[forwarded by Avery W. Krouse]

I've always wondered where those things come from, so ever since I started one myself, I've wondered if any of you have too! I just wish I had been the guy to come up with the "Hello, my name is Mr. Mjubuto Johnson, ousted president of Nigeria" emails. I get three of those a day.
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