They want him on Royal Wedding security/bodyguard/etc duties when he gets back. Of course, as he's going to be breathing approximately the same air as OMG WTF HRH (known among friends as Corgi and Bess, or simply I'm The Fucking Queen Bitches), there is a strict dress code that must be followed.
Uniform is out of the question. It's basically the only truly fancy outfit he owns, but it'd be like letting a kangaroo loose in Hyde Park. In the circumstances, not exactly ideal given that he's playing discreet security-man.
Traditional dress? For him?
That'd be a couple of layers of ochre and a spear. He'd have a glorious time flashing Her Majesty - it's always annoyed him that his service oath was to the Queen of Australia, quiet republican that he is! - but somehow I doubt turning up stark naked (ochre does not count) would win him any points.
I am therefore not sure what would be appropriate, with the dress protocol and all. Or how to get it for him when off the rack stuff never fits him (he's stupidly tall) and he's not actually here to get the damn thing tailored. For various reasons - I'm not getting any contact with him, so we can't confer! - it's got to be done or mostly done BEFORE he gets back.
...What do you advise, oh TQC?
What should he wear, and how do I arrange it when he is Not Here?