"No, it's just a cold sore. I get them sometimes. Definitely not the herp-durp-durp. I wouldn't be here if I was socially unclean"
"I've attained a doctorate in psychology, and working on a second doctorate in anthropology, and have written numerous contributions to various publications. Now, what is it you do?"
"Wow, your boobs are just...wow. Oh, my name's Josh and I'm a business major and...damn, your tits are golden. I can't stop staring at them"
"....and then Missy had kittens, and I gave most away, but I still ended up with 3 more. That's how I got to have 11 cats. All indoor"
"Yeah, I'm sort of between jobs right now, but I'm really crossing my fingers that I get that callback at Hot Topic"
"Well, my last relationship ended when my partner committed suicide. That devasted me, especially because my previous relationship ended the same way"
"Their names are Linus and Lucy. I love my babies, though they are 11 now, but they're always be babies in my eyes. Sole custody, baby"
"Strict vegan. I'm really not that uptight about my health choices, but I must warn you that lips that touch meat cannot touch mine"
"So, it was now like the 8th day in a row, when my roommate said "Dude, you gotta stop playing Halo. Go out there and date, for fuck's sake". And that's how I ended up here"
"I've been in rehab now, for, um...3 months now? Each day is a blessing, for sometimes it's difficult to stay true..."
"You look just like Chris. Damn...you're really not Chris, are you? Uncanny resemblence. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Chris was the best lay I ever had. You're not them though, are you? Sigh"
"I have only 2 hobbies really. Coin collecting, and getting tattoos. Check out this sleeve. All Disney!"
"I'm pretty open about myself, and you should know that I did time several years ago. I was caught assaulting several street corner Santas and taking their money. Bought a lot of beer with it"
Seems like a cool person, but you notice a gold chain around their neck with a gold plaque that reads PLAYER
"Oh, don't be alarmed. I don't have a lazy eye. It's a glass one. It pops right out. See?"