Mort (morty_baby) wrote in thequestionclub,
Mort
morty_baby
thequestionclub

Are you as afraid of wasps as I am? They are building a big nest on the outside of my house.
I hate the fuckers. But I DO have a healthy respect for them. One autumn after smoking a blunt and sitting in the sun drinking RED wine all day, I was in slow-mo mode and apparently, so was this wasp. Drunk on my gi-normous blackberry patch which (because I am a lazy cunt and don't pick them) were fermenting on the vine, he decided to buzzzz me slowly and lovingly. After numerous purposeless passes in front of my face, I indolently raised one sunburned arm and swatted nay PATTED him on the butt to get him out of my field of vision and he desultorily stung me on the palm of my hand. I was shocked and dismayed that a fellow drunkard would do that, as I did treat him gently and without malice instead of smacking him into next Tuesday as I should have done.

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