Jac (majesticjac) wrote in thequestionclub,
Jac
majesticjac
thequestionclub

My grandpa is a stubborn, paranoid, know-it-all. I have two questions concerning situations that involve him.


Issue #1
My grandma has a knee problem. My grandpa has taken her to see 5 different doctors to get x-rays done and figure out what the problem is. All 5 doctors have said the same thing. The cartilage in my grandma's knee is wearing away and when she walks she has bone that will sometimes touch. She can walk, but not much and it's painful for her. A knee surgery should fix it up and according to others my grandma has talked to who have had the surgery, it's something she should definitely get done. My grandpa says that she has such low pain tolerance that it can't be as bad as she thinks it is and he thinks the doctors are bullshitting him because they can ALL look at the x-ray and say right away what the problem really is. He thinks they should have to examine the x-ray for an extended period of time to be able to tell what the problem is. He thinks the surgery will be a waste because it'll either be dangerous and screw my grandma up more or in a few years she'll be okay again and won't need the surgery. As far as I can tell, there is NOTHING I can do to change this situation, so I'm pretty desperately taking a shot in the dark here. Does anyone have any advice as to what I can do to help my grandma get the surgery? Or more so, convince my grandpa she needs it? She's practically a prisoner to him and if she got the surgery anyway, she'd have to do it behind his back to go through with it AND he'd be so angry he'd probably never talk to any of us again. Which is maybe the solution in the logical world, but it would really be hell to pay. Should I try to get him to talk to a counselor or something? Who can possibly help us? Is there anything that can be done? She really wants to travel more, and I'd like to take her some place, but because of her knee, she wouldn't be able to walk enough.

Issue #2 (Less serious of a question, more for people who have been to China or are familiar with the Chinese culture...?)
My grandpa and grandma went to China several years ago. He says that at the time the Chinese were teaching their children in school about how bad Americans are. He said that at one of the places his tour group stopped at, there were a bunch of Chinese school kids going up to him and asking for his autograph. So he gave them his autograph, signed "[His name]" and "USA". Afterwards, he started to think this was a dangerous thing to do. He thinks the children might go back to the teacher, show the teacher the autograph, then they'd have it out for my grandpa, to put him in jail or something. Now. His reasoning, not quoted exactly, but the idea is: "The Chinese government doesn't like Christians. If you're traveling in China and have a Bible (or are from the U.S. in which they might assume you're Christian) you better be careful, because if it's noticed, then someone may sneak into your hotel room when you're gone and put opium in your bag so that they can arrest you for having opium." He says this has happened to tourists in China before. My questions: Has this really happened? If so, has it really happened THAT often that people should really worry about this? Was it really a bad idea to give the kids his autograph? I'm assuming not, I've never heard of this, but he can be manipulative as a know-it-all and sometimes he is right, then I feel stupid for doubting him, so right now I can't tell if he's being crazy unreasonable or if I'm just being unbelieving.
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