If you were an asshole, or had a terrible romance novelist friend, what would your self absorbed personal description look like?
"I'm conventionally hot with long reddish brown hair and velvety gray eyes. I have a tall, slim, white hourglass figure, and a small frame. I have the body of a model."
ETA, better example from reddressorblue :
"I am the glowing offspring of a Celtic warrior with shoulders to hold the cliffs of County Clare and an Iberian goddess. My body curves like the hills of Santa Teresa, my chocolate brown curls are like the knitting yarn of Jesus Christ himself. My farts are a sweet wind from the South."