iwhisperwolf (iwhisperwolf) wrote in thequestionclub,
iwhisperwolf
iwhisperwolf
thequestionclub

Ok...
My best friend is a lesbian. Her SO is an ex of mine... So we're all really close.

Before they moved to another state they asked me if I would be their donor so they could have a child.
Not knowing how to really respond, I told them they should adopt instead but that I'd think about it. It really caught me by surprise.
Thankfully the move put an end to the discussion.

I'm not opposed to same sex parents, and I'm not against doing something that big for them just because they are who they are, and I love them both dearly.

But the thing is, It's this specific thing that I'm not sure I can live with.
I've lost a child, and partly due to this, the thought of having a child somewhere that I couldn't be a father to... Would kill me in ways I can't even articulate.

They're down for a visit... And they brought it up again... Because their new state doesn't allow for them to adopt. (Orphan kids only want one mom right? sheesh)
I know they're trying to find a way to ask me again... I just... Don't know...

Do you have any ideas on how I can tell them "no" gently, without it seeming ungreatful, or disrespectful of the honor they're asking of me?

I think I already know, I'd just love some input, thanks.
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