kristen. (dangerously) wrote in thequestionclub,
kristen.
dangerously
thequestionclub

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i have this recurring dream that i am, in some way or another, forced to perform for people, whether it be on stage or otherwise. once i was alice from alice in wonderland; another i was dorothy from the wizard of oz. i once had to try out for an honors band on flute, & i had to sing & dance with someone else for an audience. the only thing is, i never know what exactly i'm supposed to do; i don't know my lines or stage directions. i don't know my music or dance steps. the entire time i'm performing, i'm scared to death--what comes next? what do i do now? what do i say? what's supposed to happen? but somehow i always seem to pull through & do exactly what i'm supposed to, & i receive a standing ovation every time. afterwards i marvel at how i got through the performance, & feel as though somebody came to my rescue... oh, i can't think of the word. through my mind, supernaturally, telepathically...metaphysically? it just feels like i was somebody else for that entire time. even though i was nervous, i wasn't thinking & the words just came out, the fingers & feet just moved, & they moved beautifully & perfectly.

what could the dream mean? maybe:

i feel like people expect too much of me, they expect me to "perform" & i never know what to do which pleases them. i pretend like i'm someone else & they love it & i feel relieved, but at the same time scared that they might find out who i really am & hate me for it.


or maybe: [your turn.]
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