in an attempt to wake me up and prevent me to from falling asleep at my desk (not out of boredom as i have been quite busy all day today), i went for a little walk around the parking lot. i'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the belmont area, but it's sorta like being up at the uc santa cruz campus: hilly and woodsy. on the opposite side of the building i work in is a canyon and quite literally is what its name translates: belmont = beautiful mountain (hill).
so, anyway, being that as it may, i was walking along the far side of the parking lot, closest to the canyon edge and i was looking out through this little arch made by some bush branches and was looking across at the houses on the other side. as i continued along the edge, i heard some rustling and squatted down and looking through the brush and saw a little brown rabbit. for some odd reason, i got the distinct urge to climb through the branches of the brush and follow the rabbit. i know it sounds weird, but it just felt like something i needed to do. i started thinking about how it's believed that some people (well, a good number of people) have past lives. there are even things to participate in and people to talk to about discovering your past lives. well, what i was thinking is that maybe some of us have FICTIONAL past lives. i know that i've always had a strange connection with alice from lewis carroll's classic "alice's adventures in wonderland" and "through the looking glass". i'm not sure if it's because it was the first disney movie my parents got for me as a small child, but i've always had this connection with her. i think it might have something to do with the fact that i've always had a very vivid imagination, i've always been curious about everything (i often ask numerous questions for anything that piques my interest in the slightest), and that i was "born as a 33-year-old" as some people have said. i've had a constant interest in what it is like to be grown-up and when, in fact, you become a grown-up (however, being "the baby" of the family, this is sometimes stunted because i'm afraid of leaving my "baby" position in the family by growing up). i mean, anyone who reads, will have some sort of connection with a character - what if it's because you were once that character, as in lived a past life as a fictional character?
i know all of this is probably utter bullshit, but it's something that has interested me. i feel like i've had a few past lives, even maybe one as a cat ("i thought my reflexes in the pressroom were cat-like..."). i love cats (not in a crazy-cat-lady way, but a healthy way) and i love napping, especially if it's in a pile of freshly dried laundry or in a sunlit spot on the floor.
so, what do ya'll think? do you think that past lives are just a crock of bullshit and worth about as much as an astrological report? or do you think maybe it could happen? i understand belief in past lives would coincide with belief in reincarnation, do you think that's possible too? or am i totally alone in this thinking? :P
(x-posted in my journal)
EDIT: i have broken up the entry for those who might not have had patience to read the original "very long paragraph"... oh, well, better yet, why don't i just shove it all in an lj-cut -> MAN i'm smart!