Ambiguity (pixsky) wrote in thequestionclub,

Two totally unrelated questions.

1. Does anyone know how to shrink pure denim?
[It was one of those love at first sight things destined to end badly, because it turns out I can't grow another half-size.. But they were cheap and pretty, dammnit! any tips of making them smaller round the waist especially welcome.]

2. I find myself in a stupid social situation. It's been about 4 months since things disintegrated with the cruddy ex. He promptly started dating close friend of mine whom I used to spend a fair bit of social time with. The cruddy ex who broke up with me for a good friend has made himself nice and at home with most of my friendship group, (yeah, including the ones he cheated on me with) to the extent that, to keep him happy and avoid confrontation, I am simply not invited to spend time with them socially (dependent on which of my friends is doing the organising).

It's a close friend's party tomorrow. A close friend who never used to have a lot of time for him, who gave me the headsup as to why he broke up with me (namely, a growing interest in a good friend of mine), and whom he spread rumours about, that she was a liar, etc. The ex's girlfriend is invited. Am I within my rights to be annoyed if he shows up also? I mean, I know the social norm is that the partners of guests are invited to things, but it's also frowned upon to move on the friends of your ex.

I feel so betrayed by him, his cheating which i only found out about after the relationship ended, pretending we were 'friends' so as to have easier access to my friends, his general dishonesty and crapful behaviour. I don't have a lot of time for him or for the friend who chose to date him- whether she 'caved under pressure' or what, but I am trying to retain a friendship with her- obviously it is limited by the circumstances. Given that I am excluded from so many other social occasions for his benefit- generally things with fewer people - is it reasonable for me to expect him to not show up? Or should i just grow up and put up with his presence, regardless of the fact that doing so will have no effect upon the vast majority of smaller, more informal gatherings from which I am excluded (at his request, spoken or unspoken)?
This is the same boy who went to his exe's formal birthday and took another date, whilst we were going out, because his other ex 'didn't want to have to be reminded that he had a new girfriend.'

I guess what I want to know is how everyone else would deal with this situation. What takes precedence? The 'don't date your friend's exes' rule (therefore, he needs to respect my right to hang with my friends without his unpleasant presence and should know simply not to attend) or the 'partners of invited persons are always as welcome as the invited person'?

I'm not sure how much sense this makes, so please ask if you need clarification on any points.
Tags: clothing, friendships, relationships
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