ethernetbunny (ethernetbunny) wrote in thequestionclub,

Advice Needed for Friend

Here's the situation --

  • My friend is 27 years old, & living with her boyfriend of 7 years.
  • Even when they started dating, he never treated her with any kind of respect -- I thought she would have kicked him to the curb by the end of year 1, but we don't talk very often anymore & my own life has seen its own share of different turmoil so I haven't really been keeping track...  & now 7 years have gone by!!
  • She's afraid to leave him because she doesn't want to be alone.  I know she deserves better, but she has really low self-esteem even though she's attractive & men hit on her when she does go out.  Unfortunately, she doesn't go out very often...  1) Her parents didn't let her go out much when she lived at home, & she lived at home until she was 24 years old.  She's been so conditioned to being home most of her non-school/work hours that it's her comfort zone.  2) She doesn't want to expend the energy being social & she thinks she may suffer from social anxiety.  3) All of her other friends have gotten married, so she'd need to find new people to go out with, but that would require going out to find the new people -- Catch 22?  4) She can't go out with me because she doesn't live close enough for it to be feasible.

She just started therapy & doesn't know if it will help.

Also, she's not close to her family as a result of this relationship, so she can't turn to them for support.

What advice would you give her?  When I get enough responses here, I'm going to point her to this page.  Thanks!  :)

Tags: advice, relationships
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