2. How do you deal with coming from a mostly-ignorant family?
I feel frustrated by the things I hear coming from people's mouths. I know people can't be changed, so I am trying to ask, how can I change myself. Can I somehow learn to not be as bothered by it, even though it does deeply bother me?
Someone told me "If your parents are such-and-such, so are you". Well that certainly can't be true, since I recognize that my parents are racist, sexist.. but I don't agree with them.
I try my best to ignore or educate my family when I hear them say things but inside I'm fuming with anger at the things they say. Regarding the hurricane situation, I heard my sister say after watching the news, "Well, those people sure aren't very appreciative. Maybe they don't deserve any help." I thought she was joking a bad joke. That isn't even the worst of it.
For my entire life practically, my sister and my parents have used a derogatory slang word in my language when referring to black people (translates loosely to "black ghosts" and is equivalent in meaning to "niggers") and Mexicans. It's always bothered me. When I was five I remember being upset by it when I found out what they were talking about. They only laughed at me. I continued trying to tell them everytime that they said it that it wasn't right but they don't listen or care. It's apparent that some of my family are racist and they won't even admit it. They are deeply offended whenever I bring it up, especially since one of my sisters married a white guy and my other sister is dating a Mexican guy. Obviously being exposed to different cultures only makes them more racist.
I am in a long-term relationship with someone who happens to be black and I don't foresee being able to tell my family about it, let alone including them in my future life. Because I definitely wouldn't give him up simply because my family doesn't know how to be more accepting.
What is the best way to deal with my family's constant ignorance? Continue ignoring and educating? Move far away and don't come back?