Knight of Mars, Beater of Ass. (dazeydevyne) wrote in thequestionclub,
Knight of Mars, Beater of Ass.
dazeydevyne
thequestionclub

Stupid Ex-BF stuff

OK, so here's the deal (and i'll try to make this as brief as possible):
Late last summer, I started dating my ex boyfriend again. (The first time we were BF/GF was 10 years ago or so) THIS TIME, after 2 months of going out every weekend and talking every other day, he told me he wasn't ready for a more serious relationship, and I ended it. Different places in our lives & all that- I'd been single for nearly 5 years prior to this, I NEEDED a boyfriend before I became a topic of conversation at family gatherings!.

Last week, he joined FaceBook, and sent me a friend request. I added him, we chatted a bit, then yesterday, I saw he'd changed his relationship status from "single" to "married" Being as he was reluctant to have a GIRLFRIEND a little more than 6 months ago, I was shocked, and sent him a message, saying "What's up with the "married" thing? If it's a joke, haha... if it's NOT... well, THAT'S ironic, no?" (Yes, I know, I fail in my use of the word irony... but I was in shock!)

He replied late last night: "it's a joke i keep trying to get it to say i'm married to my cat. but i can't figure it out. i just tried to get it to say that i'm married to elvis presley but that won't work either. oh well guess i'll be single forever....."
 
Totally rude thing to say to me, considering his fear of commitment and the way we ended things, right?

So now I have to find something witty to say back to him. Because I'm sleepy and not smart enough to think of anything, and you guys are some funny motherfuckers, I was hoping you could come up with the perfect reply.
What would YOU say to this inconsiderate mother fucker?

ETA: The "need to get my family off my back" is a lame attempt at a joke- I TOLD you , it's early, and my wit levels are low.  I was just trying to say that I'd been single for a long time, I was ready for a relationship, he wasn't.  And I'm not sitting around, crying over this- I just want to say something smart ass to him, and wanted some help.  I've been around here long enough that I'm not going to make any more excuses,  or get butt hurt over the comments, so I'll just leave it at that.

ETA Jr:  OKAY, YOU GUYS, I AM NOT TORN UP ABOUT THIS. I AM NOT PINING FOR THIS DUDE.  I AM NOT STALKING HIM OR ANYTHING. THIS WAS A QUICK POST IN RESPONSE TO AN E MAIL I GOT FROM HIM THIS MORNING THAT RUBBED ME THE WRONG WAY, AND I WANTED A SECOND OPINION.  PLEASE STOP THINKING I'M TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY, I JUST WANTED SOME FUNNY THINGS TO SAY BACK TO HIM.   THERE IS NO DRAMA, THERE IS NO ANGER,  I JUST WANTED LULZ.  WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS SO DRAMATIC?

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