chelle (sweetassalt) wrote in thequestionclub,

Ok, TQC. Validate me, plz?

A friend of mine that I've known for 12+ years (who is good for cocktails and shopping trips but that I am not particularly close with) eloped this spring.  I still live in the area where we went to high school and her mother and stepfather live about a 20 minute drive away from where I now live (north of PIttsburgh, PA).  She and her husband live in Naples, FL. They are having a party/wedding reception thing on May 23 at her mother/stepfather's house. She initially made a big show of doing this on a "weekend that works for everyone." Here are the issues:

I have long-standing plans every Memorial Day weekend.  My husband's best friend/family has a picnic every Saturday of Memorial Day weekend.  We were not able to go last year as we wound up being on vacation that week (which we didn't initially plan on taking that week but do to other circumstances we could only reschedule that week).  This picnic is about a half hour's drive from our house and about 15 minutes away from where the reception will be. This is the last chance we will have to see many of them, as a lot of the family lives in New York and we are moving to Arizona in July. She knows that we have these plans, and knew that we had these plans when she set the date for this party.  We have already RSVP'ed that my husband will not be attending because he is not particularly close with either my friend or her new husband, and this picnic is very important to him. 

The reception begins at 7pm. Due to the fact that my husband has to work that day, we will not be able to make it to the picnic until 4pm.  It is inventory day at his store and he will most likely be fired if he calls off.  This is the job that provides our health insurance, which I need as I am having a small procedure done on June 18th.

I do not particularly care for this girl's mother, stepfather, brother or other friends.  They're kind of pretentious and prickish (yes, I know that makes me sound like a bitch, but they're the kind of people who look down their nose at anyone for any reason they can think of.  They think I'm white trash because I got married when I was 22).

I can either chose to be bussed (on an actual fucking school bus) from a hotel about a mile from where I live at 6:30 pm and then bussed back at 11:30 pm, or I can "surrender my car keys" to them and be expected to spend the night at their house, or I can chose to not drink at all.  I am not entirely opposed to sobriety, but I also don't like being the only sober person in a room full of drunk people (especially when I don't really like many of them). I am also in a bit of a huff over the insinuation that I cannot be responsible with alcohol (I'm 25).  I realize that they're just covering their own asses but I am also perturbed that I will not be "permitted to drink even a glass of champagne" during my stay at the party if I chose to drive myself.

The party is a "Venician Masquerade Ball".  I am expected to buy a ballgown (that is either dark green, blue, purple, red or black) and a fucking Venician mask to attend this party.  I would like to reiterate that this party is being held in their home and not in a hotel ballroom or anywhere else that has an actual dress code.

I will probably not see my friend for quite some time if I don't attend this thing, because even though she will be around where I live for a few days surrounding the event, she has "obligations" (i.e. shopping with her mother so she can drop $10,000 on furniture. again.) for most of those days and the one day she's free I will have to work.  Compound this with she lives in Florida and I will be moving to Arizona in 10 weeks, and that makes for us not seeing each other for quite some time.

TL;DR: My friend who I have known for a long time but am not particularly close with is having a wedding reception the same weekend that I already have other plans which I cannot "cancel and do some other time." The wedding reception has a lot of pain-in-the-ass stipulations on it and will be populated with a bunch of people I don't quite care for.  Should I go?  Do I have a right to be annoyed with all of this bullshit?


What's the most fun you've ever had at a wedding? What made it so awesome?

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