So all right, vampires can't have sex. But why? They are undead, yes, but like, they're super strong and have regenerative powers so why not, as my husband says, "an evil boner" as well? They're dead, they do not breathe or have circulation, and yet rigor mortis does not set in? They gain beauty and vitality, grace and agility, but it just hangs limp? They can move huge amounts of weight due to strength. So like, why not, you know, a dick? Again, my husband says "if you can move your pinkie, you can move a pee pee."
So. why not? WHY CAN'T MY VAMPIRE CHARACTERS BONE?!?!