Ambiguity (pixsky) wrote in thequestionclub,
Ambiguity
pixsky
thequestionclub

Ok. Let's talk hypotheticals. There's a girl in your friendship group with a tendency to drink heavily. When she drinks heavily, she gets very affectionate. Without wishing to imply that she's a slut or anything- she loses all judgement and can be anyones. When sober she's much more reserved and -selective- in whom she even lets near her, although she's subtle about it. She's a very beautiful girl, incidentally.
There's a boy in your friendship group who is well aware that she's like this. Who has, in fact, 'protected' her from people wanting to prey on her vulnerability at other parties. He's recently become single, and it has become apparent that he has a thing for her. Last time the girl was asked, she wasn't interested in him at all.
At a group gathering on the weekend, he gets her drunk. Starts fooling around with her on the floor in front of the group, and then, several drinks on, leads her off to a room and shuts the door. She was walking very unsteadily and looked dazed. They don't emerge for several hours.

Should the girl's friends (who're also the guy's friends) have said anything? What should they have said?
What about if you're the ex of either the boy or girl? Would you feel like you should say something? What would you say?


I am the ex of the boy concerned. This wasn't so hypothetical as I could have hoped.
I felt like I couldn't say anything without it being perceived as a conflict of interest - even though I have no feelings for the boy concerned anymore - but I was angry at my friends- mostly girls- for not saying anything at the time. I mean, if I were that drunk, I'd want my friends to keep an eye out for me and not be too timid to step in and make sure I was ok. I know it's not just a conflict of interest thing because I've moved on, and i'm happy. I wouldn't even care that they hooked up, if I knew that it were because she wanted it, and not just him taking advantage of her. It's definitely a decision she should be allowed to make sober.. Now I feel guilty that she could have been, I don't know if it counts as 'date-rape' or whatever - and i didn't say anything about it. I'm angry that I was put in this position, as well, I guess.
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