Ok, so I totally just had Karma bitchslap me! There I was, innocently bitching about friends and family (only the deserved, mind) when two hot coals fell to the floor.
I jump up to grab them before damage occurs, and stupidly step on one. It burns right through my sock within seconds, barbecuing my left foot underneath. I rip off the sock to stop further agony, but the coal is stuck to it, and as I grab it... I manage to burn the side of my left hand.
I now can't stand on my left leg, and can't move my left hand very well!
1. When was the last time Karma bitchslapped you? SRS AND NON! Anything for lols.
2. My creator was kind enough to gift me with a currently, fully functioning, right hand and right leg. Can you suggest some things I can do with these two appendages? Bonus points if it doesn't include any sort of masturbation.