I think this is a cute one:
"Women are like apples....most men choose the easy ones that hang low on the tree or fall to the ground. That makes the good women who arent quite so easy to feel like there is something wrong with them because they can never find a man. In reality, they are just too good for most men, and it takes a strong, brave man to climb to the top of the tree and pick the good apples, which are sweeter, tastier, and more beautiful.
Men, on the other hand, are like grapes.....it is up to us women to stomp the shit out of them until they are turned into fine wine and are suitable to eat dinner with."