elevatorshaft (elevatorshaft) wrote in thequestionclub,

My boyfriend (now ex) and I had been together for almost 3 years. Although we argued a lot and didn't get along as much as we should have, we had always remained faithful to one another and never cheated. We have been broken up for about a month now. Things were worse toward the end and we decided to call it quits due to the fact that we hardly got along. Despite our decision, we couldn't keep away from each other (It's tough after having been together for so long) and still talked and occasionally and had sex. Things have been like this for the past few weeks and we have been trying to come up with a solution in hopes that we can get back together in the future. The only thing we could come up with was to take time apart and hopefully find our way back to each other someday.

Here's where it gets messy. While said ex and I were hanging out at a book store a few days ago, we got into a fight (over something absolutely ridiculous - he later on realized this) and he took me home immediately afterwards. Well, I was feeling completely miserable and felt like there was absolutely nothing left for us (I was just fed up with everything), so I did something unlike me. The next day, I slept with a guy that's been a customer at my job that I met a while back. Half of me feels guilty, half of me feels like I technically didn't do anything wrong since my ex and I are broken up. A few friends have told me that I haven't done anything wrong, but my heart is telling me that I have.

I stopped by my ex's house today to pick up something I let him borrow that I needed back. When I left, we decided that we weren't going to keep contact for a while since it's what needed to happen. Before I left, he told me that if I did anything with another guy, to never talk to him again and to forget ever getting back with him. I told him I thought it was unfair to expect me to act like I'm committed to him when we're not even a couple, but he didn't concur. Being afraid of losing him forever and knowing that what I did a few days ago was blatantly due to the fact that I was angry, hopeless, and hurt, I didn't tell him. He made it seem like he could just completely forget about me and shrug me off like it's nothing if he found out what happened. Doesn't that, in a way, show that he doesn't care as much as he could/should? Is he entitled to know about this? Should I feel guilty for keeping this from him? Should I feel guilty about what I did, despite the fact that we're not together?
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