Emo (sweet_emo) wrote in thequestionclub,
Emo
sweet_emo
thequestionclub

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What do I do?

I've got a few problems here...I'm a twenty-two year-old college student and I'm in my fourth year. Yet I'll be graduating one to two years late for failing classes. My problem is that I just can't get into school anymore. I switched majors (psychology for a couple of years before going into English Lit.) I thought I wanted to major in EngLit, but I feel as if I'm changing my mind. I no longer have the desire to write essays or creative writngs or read books. I hardly pay attention in classes, because I see no point. I feel as if I'm wasting my time with frivolities like asian philosophy and humanities. And i'm only in them b/c the curriculum for Liberal Arts majors requires it. But I fail to see how these classes are helping me learn. I only feel pressure to read and be able to pass the tests. But I can't get into the readings. I'll read for a bit and the books put me to sleep literally!

I'm also in grave danger of failing humanities. I already had to take part one twice, and now it looks like I'll have to take part two twice. On average, I fail one course per year since I can't get focused or interested.

Also, I have no friends at school. My only high school pal moved to a cooking school in Nevada. But I feel as if I can't talk to or connect to anyone. Everyone's so different. I'm into certain hobbies and interests while everyone is into other things. There's also a big language/cultural barrier. Nearly everyone comes from a background where another language is spoken. I'm just a typical English-speaking American. when others try to talk to me in their native tongues, I'm pretty silent. (I constantly get mistaken for being Mexican or east Indian since I have brown hair and eyes and a slightly tan complexion). Yet I feel guilty for not knowing Spanish, etc.

So my question is: what's wrong with me? I know I'm not an idiot, but I keep falling behind from lack of interest in school. And I hate to drop out since I'm getting a grant from the state. But I feel like I'm wasting my time at school. And I can't take time off or the state will take my grant away from me. Somedays I don't even feel like living. I just feel like an empty void taking up space in a classroom and living with my parents. I feel like I'm going nowhere.
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