Wily as a coyote (fourcorners) wrote in thequestionclub,
Wily as a coyote
fourcorners
thequestionclub

Poll #1134247 Kids Kids Bang Bang

You have a 15 year old son. One day he says, "Mom/Dad, I have a problem. I like both Veronica and Betty. I'm not sure who I like better. This is complicated because I got them both pregnant. I know I know, I should have worn a condom, but it just doesn't feel as good wearing a rubber, ya know? Anyway, both of them want to keep the baby and I don't know what to do. Oh, this girl named Sabrina might be pregnant too. What should I do?" Your response?

"Oh, son, what a wonderful gift! Grandchildren! What a blessing!"
0(0.0%)
"Wow, you're certainly a stupid one. You're grounded til you graduate. Let me talk to their mothers and hopefully we can convince the girls into giving up their babies"
58(48.7%)
"Try really hard to coerce them into getting abortions. I'll pay if I have to. We'll get through this, honey"
9(7.6%)
"Condoms suck, don't they? Well, you couldn't help it. Accidents happen. My little baby's gonna be a daddy. So proud of you"
2(1.7%)
"Here's what you do. Get a friend. Both of you wear ski masks. Jump each one of these girls and have your friend hold each one down while you punch her repeatedly in the stomach..."
7(5.9%)
"I'm behind you all the way, son. We'll raise these babies together if we have to"
13(10.9%)
Other
30(25.2%)

Your 18 year old daughter wants to go on American Idol (yes, it's still on). She thinks she's a wonderful singer. However, in actuality, she's tone deaf and her range is exactly 2 notes on the scale. In other words, she sucks, but she thinks she's going to win it. As her parent, what do you say?

"Honey, are you sure about this? Simon can be awfully mean. He may hurt your feelings and I don't want you to be hurt"
60(49.6%)
"This should be good. Do you still have that tight red dress that you said makes you look like a sausage? I think that would be perfect"
8(6.6%)
"You are a good singer, dear. I'm behind you 100%"
3(2.5%)
"The truth, dear, is that you aren't very good. You may not want to hear this, but if you went on AI, you'll embarrass yourself and I don't want you to do that. Face facts, child."
43(35.5%)
Other
7(5.8%)

Through his best friend, your 17 year old son has suddenly found religion. He's embraced mormonism. He tries really hard to get you to join him for church each weekend, and badgers you every couple of days about the afterlife and how you might not be there with him. How do you deal with him?

Give in. Join his church. Give face time to his religion if it makes him happy
1(0.8%)
Ban him from going to church. No son of mine is going to be a mormon
1(0.8%)
Teach him about religious tolerance, and how you don't support proselytization.
97(79.5%)
Laugh at him. Tease him about his faith. He'll eventually be too embarrassed to bring it up to you again
5(4.1%)
Ground him. Now neither of us can go to his church
4(3.3%)
Other
14(11.5%)

Your 15 year old daughter has her girlfriends over and her door is closed. You made them cookies and open the door to bring it to them. You see them sitting in a circle, and your daughter is inhaling from a big bong. It smells like cheap weed in the room. What do you say?

"That's it. Everybody go home now. My daughter and I have to have a long talk". You then ground her
53(43.8%)
You say nothing, just smile. Then you call her friends' parents and tell them what you saw
12(9.9%)
"You call this weed? Please. Let me get my kush stash"
17(14.0%)
"Alright! I got next hit! Move over, girls"
8(6.6%)
Call the police. Let them sort it out
2(1.7%)
"You girls want some vodka too? I got some in the fridge"
0(0.0%)
You just start screaming, and keep at it until all her friends leave. Then you lock her in her room
3(2.5%)
Other
26(21.5%)
Subscribe

  • Cooking

    What was your funniest, or at least benign, kitchen mistake? This post brought to you by the time I was making Campbell's Wonton soup and I…

  • stupid fashion trends

    Inspired by watching several of my customers (and coworkers) struggle to use their hands because of excessively long stick on nails. Do you have any…

  • Streaming content

    Which online streaming providers do you use? Which ones have you dropped? just signed up for Discovery +. Glad I did

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for members only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 15 comments

  • Cooking

    What was your funniest, or at least benign, kitchen mistake? This post brought to you by the time I was making Campbell's Wonton soup and I…

  • stupid fashion trends

    Inspired by watching several of my customers (and coworkers) struggle to use their hands because of excessively long stick on nails. Do you have any…

  • Streaming content

    Which online streaming providers do you use? Which ones have you dropped? just signed up for Discovery +. Glad I did