Why, oh why, am I still sick, after antibiotics and tons of meds, and even Sleepytime tea with honey?
Government-created virus; now you're going to eradicate all mankind!
Extraplanar infection from Pluto, in retaliation for being kicked out of the planet club.
God hates you, you heathen!
Geekery is actually harmful to your health, don'tcha know?