Wily as a coyote (fourcorners) wrote in thequestionclub,
Wily as a coyote
fourcorners
thequestionclub

Have some chow, young fat

Which of these things that, if they happened, would make you start trying to lose some weight?

Your regular pants no longer fit
6(5.1%)
Your sweat pants are getting a little tight on you
1(0.9%)
You calculate one day that it costs more than $600 to feed just you every month
0(0.0%)
You accidentally stepped on your friend's foot and she lay there, clutching it and crying for like 15 minutes
0(0.0%)
Your toilet seat cracks in half
0(0.0%)
You can stick your index finger into your belly button all the way up to the knuckle
0(0.0%)
Fast food clerks automatically supersize your order when they see you, and you don't complain
0(0.0%)
It requires more flexibility and effort to wipe your butt
0(0.0%)
You start to realize how pretty mumus can be
1(0.9%)
With some effort, you sneak into your favorite pair of pants, stand up, and the button flies off with such velocity that it leaves a dent in the wall
0(0.0%)
When eating with friends at a buffet, you're the only one to go back for 5th and 6th helpings, plus a couple helpings of dessert
1(0.9%)
All subsequent pictures taken of yourself start to go by 'the angles'
1(0.9%)
A bunch of kids start singing 'fatty fatty, two by four...' when you walk by
0(0.0%)
You buy a plane ticket, and they make you buy two to accomodate all of your, um, physical mass
0(0.0%)
You trip in the kitchen, fall on a watermelon, and it explodes, Gallagher-style
0(0.0%)

Methods you'd use to attempt to lose weight

Starve myself
2(1.7%)
Cut back on portions
1(0.9%)
Drink diet sodas
0(0.0%)
Stop eating at fast food joints
0(0.0%)
Walk more (or, more specifically, to start walking)
1(0.9%)
Lift weights
0(0.0%)
Go Atkins
0(0.0%)
Try whatever new diet is all the rage
0(0.0%)
Lipsuction
0(0.0%)
Stomach stapling
0(0.0%)
Start smoking (to curb appetite)
0(0.0%)
Slimfast milkshakes in lieu of meals
0(0.0%)
Slimfast milkshakes in lieu of actual milkshakes
0(0.0%)
Try that meth that all the kids are talking about
0(0.0%)
Treadmill/isometrics/etc
0(0.0%)

Assuming you stay true to your diet, how long would you stay on it?

Until I can fit back into my clothes
10(8.8%)
Until I'm my proper weight
10(8.8%)
Until the holidays
0(0.0%)
Until I get a six pack/big guns/big pecs/firm ass/some physically fit milestone
0(0.0%)
Until I get bored or sick of the diet
3(2.7%)
Until those kids stop teasing me
0(0.0%)
Until I can again pinch an inch, instead of grabbing a slab
2(1.8%)
Until I fall off the wagon and devour and entire pizza by myself
4(3.5%)
Until hippies stop telling you how many cattle died to make your leather pants. Specifically, your leather pants (hint: more than 3)
0(0.0%)
Until your shirts stop doubling as tents for little kiddies
1(0.9%)
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  • 23 comments

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