I broke off my engagement because I am starting to realize I am just not ready. However, now I'm feeling like I can't be in a relationship at all. Guys, I'm only 20. I feel like I need to do some more exploring, spread my wings if you will...be independant and single. I've almost always been in a relationship, and I really think I need to take my 20's to do some living, to try single life, hell, even try casual dating.
However, my boyfriend is still in love with me, and it will crush him to leave. He says I'm the girl of his dreams, he's said that if we break up all he wants is to be included in my life, to be a friend, to keep in touch. He says he'll love me always no matter what happens. We have talked about this and we were going to give it until March when our lease is up, and decide what to do from there. However, he's understandably heartbroken and I feel terrible leaving for such selfish reasons. However, how can I really give him my full heart when I feel this way? I honestly see myself with him 10 or 15 years down the line...but he's only my 2nd boyfriend, and I think that the long term is scaring me at this moment, I'm starting to feel like I haven't lived, I haven't taken advantage of my youth. Being non-monogamous is not an option, he would feel terribly insecure and jealous. I don't want to hurt him. I know I am...but how can I walk away from this knowing how much the boy loves me?
So wise TQCers, any advice for me? (I'm obviously going to go with what I feel is best, but I would like to know how you would handle such a situation.)
Okay, that was an emofest. Here's a few better questions:
2) Do you use any lotion to help with dry skin? What brand?
3) What are your thoughts on The Cure?
3b) What about Placebo?
4) Do you do anything special when your boss is not at work? What do you do? We go out for breakfast sandwiches!
5) What is your favorite Disney movie?