Chris (chrismsx) wrote in thequestionclub,


Is it wrong for a male to be friends with girls, even if that male is dating someone ? I know the question sound basic but what if those friends were close female friends? Is it wrong then? Is it wrong to make new close friends if your dating someone, even new close friends of the opposite sex?

Heck let's just be honest, AM I wrong for making a new friend and then asking for that friends phone number because as anyone who knows me, I'm not one to connect through small talk? Am I wrong for not being honest about this to my significant other because I know she doesn't agree with me that guys and gals can just be friends without anyone liking each other, and it will thus start a pointless opinion filled fight.

I will answer my own question and say I'm wrong for lying about anything but I didn't feel like I had much of a choice. I just wanted to move past what I considered a juvenile and stupid disagreement of opinion and just be happy.

I am not showing I care if I'm not one to get jealous any more because I trust that my significant other won't do anything behind my back and I don't care what things look like to someone else. Am I wrong for telling her she can hang out with any guy she wants as long as she doesn't do anything to miss use my trust ? Knowing that I TRUST she's not gonna whore it up and that things will only go as far as she let's them..... is it wrong that it bothers me that I'm not awarded the same opportunity, when I've done nothing to not deserve it.

Am I wrong in even wanting to be with such a person, whom to me displays several levels of unjustified relationship insecurity. Am I wrong for almost being willing to go against something I've stood against since I conquered my jealousy issues and since I've felt the sting of harmed friendships by people who lower your place in their lives when they get a boyfriend/girlfriend....Am I wrong for doing that because despite major differences, I fear I may very well have been in love.

In love in enough to lie (something I hate) in order to smooth things over so I can experience happiness with this person.. Nothing can justify not being honest to someone .. but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't trying to.

So very sorry I am.. But the question remains, had I said yes..I've been talking to my FRIEND on the phone, would things have ended any differently? I don't think so... but I still want to apologize for not being honest and on that small scale not deserving of your low level of trust.

I talked to my parents and I talked to my friends, two of them married and they don't think I'm wrong except for the fact that I dad said I shouldn't of had to lie, because that shouldn't be something she should get mad about if she trusts me, my motives and knows i would never cheat, as she stated. Me feeling forced to lie about talking to someone on the phone who is a girl, and a friend but not my girlfriend, no matter when I met her speaks volumes about the person I lied to. My father asked me, would she ever feel like she had to lie to me..and I said only if she did something physical with the person and he asked has she ever...and I said yes but we weren't together... and that was her excuse... but i think after that, we aren't together now or then... and yet my excuse being the same wouldn't hold up.

I'm rambling now.. But What do you think?
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