A horse is a horse
You are what you eat
And Captain Obvious is riding it
Unless it's a zebra
Where are you going with this assumption?
I led my horse to water. What's the best way to make him drink?
Keep giving him his salt lick. He'll get thirsty
Waterboarding will make him surrender to your hydrating wishes
Your horsie may be an alkie. Put the water in a whiskey bottle.
Catapult him into the lake
Horses prefer to use crazy straws. They're pretty whimsical.
They say you should never look a gift horse in the mouth. Why is that?
It's rude to be critical of a free gift
Gift horses have a nasty habit of sucking eyeballs out of unsuspecting people
Horses never brush. Their mouth smells like horse ass
The horse may think you're trying to jack his grill and pimp slap you
If you poke too close to the horse's mouth, he may think you want to make out. That could be awkward
What does 'horsing around' mean?
Inappropriate touching at the stable
Sex with someone in a furry horse suit
To fool people with a Trojan horse. You know. Offer them a big wooden horse that's filled with soldiers, who will burn down their house during the night