the other white meat (ex_antinode883) wrote in thequestionclub,
the other white meat
ex_antinode883
thequestionclub

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so. i'm in the office wasting time. i've decided to join the community and ask a question:

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal.

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that
never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching
about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is
dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but
restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and
give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing
room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly
reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at
the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of
support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back
attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a
girl.s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing
style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends
back from parties and never take advantage once they.re at her door, for
the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the
creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for
compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the
rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are
accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don.t end up being
boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and
unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and
unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and
when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting
two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you
thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was
all ok and she shouldn.t worry about it. This is for that time she
interrupted the best killing spree you.d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant
about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the
most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was
immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two
hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.
This is also for that time she didn.t have a date, so after numerous vows
that there was nothing .serious. between the two of you, she dragged you
to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted
shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by
announcing to everyone: .oh, but we.re just friends!. And even though you
were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways.
Because you.re nice like that.

The nice guys don.t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more
disturbing, the nice guys don.t seem to get laid as often as they should.
And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can.t. From what I
have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at
other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that
many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim
they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a
specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as .oh, he.s too nice
to date. or .he would be a good boyfriend but he.s not for me. or .he
already puts up with so much from me, I couldn.t possibly ask him out!. or
the most frustrating of all: .no, it would ruin our friendship.. Yet, they
continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect
their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the
men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to
fathom. I can.t figure out why the connection breaks down between what
they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I.m going to sleep with
this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the
nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn.t last forever. There are
definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize
they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The
tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones
that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys.
You know who you are, and I know you.re sick of hearing yourself described
as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your
patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party
escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For
all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations
where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my
acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility
in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

being a girl (or guy) do you think this holds any credibility?
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