November 8th, 2018


(no subject)

Is it reasonable to expect your friend to listen to her deceased mother's voicemail and be angry if they don't want to?

background info:
This past summer I visited two mutual friends, we'll call them Biz and Reba. Shortly before my visit Biz's mother passed. She had a had been in the hospital with a heart condition and was taken off life support. Understandably, Biz has been having a really hard time with this, in many ways more so than many others would because intelligent and independent she has some developmental delays that make it hard for her to understand some concepts. This has caused her to blame the doctors for her mother's death even though there was nothing that could be done. She had been listening to her mother's last voicemail and at some point during the visit she wanted Reba and I to listen to the voicemail with her. Reba explained that because I was only visiting for a few days she would rather spend that time creating happy memories together. I explained that while I was there for her to talk to, I felt as if listening to the voicemail was something personal. We were there to support her in other ways. (along with another friend who for her own reasons declined to listen to it) Yet Reba is the only one she is angry at.