I turned her down and I was accused of being transphobic TERF. Loudly. Two friends stepped up to defend me, but I was rather bewildered.
I know what transphobic means, but what exactly is a TERF? Should I have turned her down in a specific way?
I have a longterm casual friend who was planning a semi-retirement move out of state last fall, immediately after a vacation somewhere outside the country. I saw her shortly before the vacation, and reminded her I was happy to help organize, pack, clean etc, but she didn’t need me (she has grown kids nearby who planned to help.)
When her tentative moving date was looming, I texted her to see how everything was going. This was her answer. “It’s been crazy and a real whirlwind. Soon as we’re back in the states I'll send more info. On our way home now.”
That was one year ago. Should I assume the crazy whirlwind still has her too busy to get in touch? How long do you go without hearing from someone, before you just understand that they are GONE?