April 22nd, 2018

Fractal vader

(no subject)

If you could write an on-line dating profile for your ex SO ....What would it say?

Hi! Im a 5 4 135lb SWF looking for a church going man who doesnt mind taking a back seat to dogs and doesnt mind not having sex until after marriage. And not too much sex after that. Like once a month. And i wont move. My ex called me a 'corpse' lol. Blow jobs?? No. I dont do anything that kinky.
Please have a good job so i can stay at home and cook tasteless mediocre food for you.
I will always compare you to my father and will only take advice from my know-it-all brother.
Oh...please insulate me from anything that resembles change. And i will not leave to move with you. You will have to relocate to this small boring town i have lived in for my whole life and am related to half of everyone here.