October 9th, 2017

  • laorion

So apparently i suck at parenting, neighboring and pretty much everything now

Long ass question is long....(I apologize, I can't figure out the cut...this may be why people don't like me)
So I've lived here just about ten years...it's a housing cooperative, which is basically a condo...I pupeosefully bought an end unit (bigger yard, small deck and only share one walk) was pregnant with my twins (who are now 9 year old boys) when I moved in
Have never had a problem with neighbors...the majority of my neighbors (it's basically a courtyard) we're here before me, know my kids (who say hi to any and everyone, they will ask to pet the dog your walking and love to help carry the older folks groceries in...seriously, people here bring them random gifts cuz they're pretty sweet lil boys...and they're cute and all) ok then
So I've had a couple neighbors...actually the unit connected to mine was kinda handed down through the original owners family and friends, from the time I moved in I've told each one, hey, we share a wall, if I'm too loud lemme know. I am loud, my hearing was damaged as a child, and I've always talked loud cuz, I can't hear that shit...then, kids....
so now they are 9, they fight, they run, they yell on occasion..sometimes I yell...I have to say I do think we are quieter now than a couple years ago, and yes, they have been told, repeatedly, about things like inside voices...
So, I have never had a neighbor complaint about our noise, which surprises me really. I've been the only one to bring it up to a neighbor (hey, I'm sure you heard us last night or the other day or every two hours for the last month, sorry!!) all I ever got in response was a "you guys are fine".
Cool, right? (Or maybe I've just been very lucky and blessed with exceptionally patient neighbors, I know I have
Ok, that's the backstory (I told ya this would be long)
So, new neighbors moved in about 3-4 weeks ago...older couple (retired age)...first day I meet the husband, introduce myself and the kids (I'm not social, never have borrowed a cup of sugar, but I do try to be polite)....guy tells me this whole story how they were selling their house and bought a new one then the buyer backed out and they couldn't pay two mortgages, lost both houses and ended declaring bankruptcy and, yeah, that sucks, especially when you're getting into your elder years...I get it
Yesterday my kids and I were basically out of the house all day...about an hour after we get home, I'm cooking dinner, kids are vegging in front of the tv...knock knock
I open the door..." oh hi, wassup?"
Neighbor guy :"we have to talk about this noise, last night and tonight, it sounds like people are running up and down the stairs, all we hear is noise"
Me: "oh! Wait, tonight? Ok, I understand, I'll talk to the kids and we'll try to keep it down". (I'm slightly confused about the whole tonight thing)
Neighbor guy "you don't understand, somebody has to get control of this because"
Me: (and yes I did cut him off) somebody who? You mean me right? As I said, I do understand and I will talk to my kids and we'll try to keep it down"
Neighbor: well this is out of control and
Me: rob, I understand you don't want to hear my kids being loud, I don't like hearing your wife yell at you ever day either (which I have, every day, not to mention the hammering and power drill, but I didn't mention that cuz we share a wall and hey, they just moved) "but you do understand there are two nine year old boys here and they do run up and down the stairs and it will never be silent right?" (My stairs and their stairs but run along that shared wall...for the record I can hear them going up and down too)
Neighbor:..,,"well...ok...(walks away mumbling something about me not being right)
So, my questions is...what to do? I am planning some diy soundproofing on that shared wall...I'm more pissed off by his tone than the actual complaint...but I'm not interested in pissing off my neighbors or making their lives hard...I'm also not going to force my kids to tip toe around their own home
Side note: his wife will not speak to me. I mean since day one. I smoke, so I go sit on my back porch to do that. Our back porches are basically connected (there is a divider thingy ) but there have been several times where she opened the door and immediately slammed it, it took a few times for me to realize that she saw me as she was about to come out....I think I mentioned that I'm. Or social? Honey you ain't got to talk to me...I myself prefer the whole chin nod, wassup, and move along method...he sat on the back porch once or twice...now he sits on the front porch...fine with me, but, ummm...don't live into what's basically a communal situation and then try to set stand alone house rules on people that have been here for years, cuz the rest of us make do and do just fine
Anyways, I am probably wrong in some way here ( I usually am)...,I really don't want to make anything hard on them..,but I'm not gonna creep around my home either
Ideas? Suggestions?