July 21st, 2014

(no subject)

You guys, how do you deal with crazy mothers-in-law (or practically in-law)?

My SO's mom is having rampant empty-nest syndrome - on Sunday, somehow, in five minutes, she went from talking about why she didn't want to go to our local radio club's picnic to how bitter she is and how all her kids are abandoning her (even though my SO is still living at home with her and even though she's still babying the shit out of him, which is a related but separate matter). She doesn't seem to realize that bitching about how alone and miserable she is is actually exactly the kind of behavior that's pushing her sons and their significant others away. The six of us really want her to get professional help (she's depressed and pretty much never goes out just to have fun, and the only regular social interaction she gets is with Sam's dad). But she doesn't want to, and we just have to deal with her as she is in the best way we can. It's hard because my SO and I are planning on moving in together in the next six weeks or so, and we have no idea how to break the news to her. Any tips or tricks from those who've been married or with their SO for a while?

(no subject)

How do I make myself work out for the right reason?

I have spent years of my life convinced that I was body positive and loved my body- then I finished grad school and walked into a pretty sedentary job. Suddenly, my activity level dropped. I was no longer walking to classes, going on walks with friends during free time, and my stress level decreased to nearly zero- which as increased my appetite drastically. This is in all honesty, amazing. I have a weird stomach disorder and I never thought I'd see the day when eating no longer gave me anxiety. But. Then I started to notice clothes fitting differently and before I knew it, I'd gained about 7 pounds.

This shouldn't be a big deal, but hot damn, is it. The body that I thought I loved suddenly feels almost foreign to me. Things that used to be flat are soft and while I in no way have a body that merits complaining about, I've been feeling a lot of self hate.

I want to start working out, but I want it to be because I need healthier lifestyle, not because I need to stay my college weight, but honestly, weight is really what's motivating me. How do I readjust this thinking and direct it away from my weight and towards my health?

credit report?

I'm confused and a little worried.

A few years ago when I bought my car they ran my credit report and it was good - high 700s (I think that's good)? Anyway. Today I was shopping in Nordstrom and since it's the sale the employee asked if I wanted to sign up for their credit card. I said sure, whatever. Long story short, they rejected me! It must be my credit, right? I pay my bills in full and on time.

A month or so ago collections was calling me trying to reach someone by the same exact name, but different SSN and birthdate. I told them it was not me and put a fraud alert through all 3 credit companies.

Question: I want to a) find out my score and b) find out any dings on my credit report (do they get specific?). What's the most legit and efficient way to do that? I'm clearly clueless.

Thanks for any help you can provide.
fuck it

Facebook Spam

I've asked (generally, in a post not directed at anyone) on FB already, but received no reply. So I come to you, TQC: has anyone noticed a dramatic uptick in FB friend requests from very obviously spam/fake accounts? In the last 48 hours I've received 5 requests from 5 separate accounts that are all:

  • female names I don't recognize
  • empty save for a profile picture (usually of a girl in her late teens/early 20s and never anyone I recognize) and a single status update about trying to quit Facebook but being back again
  • not friends with anyone, or are friends with some random people, often but not always including people who would be in my "extended network" (i.e. we have a couple mutual friends)
  • connected to me (if at all) ONLY by dint of my high school (the people who show up in their friends are people I DO recognize from high school, though they're never actually people I'm friends with on FB)

My fear is that my email address connected with my FB address has been scraped and is on some list purchased by someone to be fed to a FB spambot, since this JUST SO happens to coincide with me using my email address to apply for an online content-writing job. Is this the case?

I find it weird that the only connected network (when I have different "networks" from college and from living in different countries) is with my high school. Has someone I'm friends with been scraped, or someone one of my friends is friends with?

Has this happened to anyone else? I've been reporting and then blocking every single account, but since I've just settled into into a new home in a new country and have been slowly meeting people and developing a social circle I get a little sad to see that the new friend request isn't someone from my writing group but just a bot. :C