||[Jul. 14th, 2014|03:28 pm]
The Question Club
I am 24 and went out 4 times with a 28 year old guy. He hinted that he did not like me and encouraged me to lose weight.|
He's a colleague but we're in different offices. He asked me out and did show interest in getting to know me better. Perhaps it was folly on my part but I thought he might be interested in me. So I text him on my own initiative sometimes.
We went out last week and we had a long conversation about relationships, expectations etc. He hinted that he did not like me (saying there was this girl that messaged her etc when he was just referring to me) and that he was seeing someone else. However, he pointed out some stuff (appearance wise) that he did not really like about the girl. And he also said I have a good personality.
He also encouraged me to lose weight so that I'll look more attractive. He knows that I have lost around 40lbs in the past 2 years. I weigh 136lbs (5 foot 4) now so I am not overweight. But as an Asian girl, I do look a little larger and taller than other girls.
So..... I encouraged her to go after the other girl and not to put so much emphasis on appearances. He asked if I felt he was superficial and yeah I said he was. It's understandable but I felt he placed too much emphasis on it.
He even asked me if I liked him. I did not like like him but I did not mind knowing him better. But I believe we can just be aquaintances now. I feel quite foolish but at the same time I'm glad I know where his priorities are. I'll definitely work out to look better for myself, not for him because he is definitely not an option anymore.
It won't be awkward between us.
But..I have questions. Do I go out with guys with no expectations in future(I.e. I should have no expectations that it could mean that he might be interested)? I mean, he was sending mixed signals and perhaps somewhere along the line he decided he was no longer interested and just said that it was a friend asking another friend out for dinner in the first place.
He wasn't mean about it but somehow I still feel affected. I did not have extremely strong feelings about but I did feel quite affected by his comments. Is it normal to be so critical about appearances?