April 3rd, 2014

cheese

Private conversation in a shoebox

Hello, friends.

So, tomorrow night I'm supposed to have a long overdue phonecall with someone. I would prefer it to be a private conversation but this comes with hurdles I need to overcome.
1.I have a roommate
2. Said roommate will be attempting to sleep when the phone call occurs and is a light sleeper
3. Said roommate is nosy

There is only a small space between our rooms and you can easily hear someone talking in one from the other, even with the doors closed. It's too cold to go outside/sit in my car. How do I keep this phone call private without arousing my roommate's curiosity/keeping them awake?
AT-At v. CAT-CAT

Sex poll

So you're having sex. Right in the middle of it, your partner does something disruptive. Which of these things would make you pause the lovemaking, to at least say something to your partner or get up or forcibly change positions? Your partner is on top. Anything you don't check it's assumed that you can overlook it during the fucking

Your partner is being really loud during sex. Exceptionally vocal. You're pretty sure the neighbors can hear
20(6.2%)
Your partner's breathing into your mouth, and has really stanky breath. A combination of morning breath and something onion-related that he/she had for breakfast
57(17.6%)
Your partner talks dirty to you during the sex session. Really filthy stuff. Abusive profanity, namecalling, and pretty much summarizing you as a whore
38(11.8%)
Same as above, except the dirty talk is limited to only 'take it, whore' or 'you like that, bitch'
34(10.5%)
Your partner farts, and it's a ghastly one. The stench is nauseating, and it's lingering
55(17.0%)
Based on your angle, you can see up your partner's nose, and there's a large booger. Having seen it, you can't unsee it, and you can't not look at it now
21(6.5%)
Your partner is about to sneeze. You see the recognizable jerky motions that preceed the sneeze. However, he/she is still grinding away on top of you. Your partner is about to sneeze any second now and they're right above you...
37(11.5%)
You're close to an orgasm, when your partner for some reason starts humming/whistling a Justin Bieber song
29(9.0%)
While on top, moaning or whatever, your partner splatters some saliva into your eye. Is this something you'd pause to wipe out, or do you just wipe it out, mid-hump, without missing a beat?
15(4.6%)
Either you or your partner queefs loudly. You both giggle. Two more queefs. It's a little embarrassing now. Press onward or stop and change position?
17(5.3%)

You're fooling around with an attractive person you just met. You're a little tipsy, and very horny, and so is your partner. You're someplace really secluded, and definitely aren't being watched. The girl (either you or the partner) is wearing something short and easy-access, and a condom is found on one of you. Pretty much, you're attracted to this person, you're horny, and you're not thinking much about consequences, but this is someone you met that night. What happens next? Married or committed people, pretend this was before, when you were single

Sex. Normal sex
16(22.5%)
A quickie. Even though no one knows where we are, I'm afraid someone might stumble upon us
9(12.7%)
Handjob/fingering
14(19.7%)
Oral sex
0(0.0%)
Nothing happens. I cool it down before it gets heated up any more. I don't know this person or their sexual history.
31(43.7%)
Other
1(1.4%)

Would you sooner trust 99Cent Store condoms (99 Cent Store is a store where nothing is over a dollar, and they have boxes of rubbers for a buck), or milk that's 2 days past the expiration date?

Condoms
25(34.7%)
Milk
47(65.3%)
Celebrities: Adriana Lima (for Jeff)

(no subject)

iPhone users of TQC:

Do you have read receipts enabled for your iMessages?

If so, why?

If not, why? And do you constantly check messages between you and people who DO have it enabled to see if/when they read your last text?

Android/Windows/Blackberry/rotary phone users: Why did you pick your phone? What do you like best about its operating system?