||[Mar. 15th, 2014|06:07 pm]
The Question Club
Thanks for all the answers everyone's ever given me in the past. You guys are fantastic and earn internet cookies/cake/donuts/etc. <333 ...But anyway now I need answers again. (Sorry guys.) |
Do you ever feel like your only ever approached/messaged/spoken to if a person or multiple people need something from you? Do you ever feel like your the only one that messages a "friend" or "friends"? I always feel like I'm ignored or treated like I don't exist unless I message/approach first (most of the time messages go completely unanswered by people - I always assume they are busy and I really just want to shoot the breeze, so no big deal there) or if they "need" me to do something. The latter really irks me because if I can't for whatever reason (usually not having time or not knowing how to do something) then I get read the riot act and treated like garbage or I'm dropped as a friend entirely.
I normally do try/go out of my way to help people and I always feel guilty when I can't or can only do so much. Some people might ask me often but they do try to help me back or pay me back and that's totally fine with me, but most do not and if I need help refuse to help me or even acknowledge me and most of the time I don't really care because I can handle most things on my own and prefer to. But, there's always that one time when you at least need someone around, you know?
A recent example - Friend A needs help with a home assignment in our one class. I agree to meet her the night before it's due to help her but warn her to try to answer what she can before then and we'll go over formatting which is worth 6-7 points and citing 3-4 points of the 20-25 they are. Friend does not do this and when I do meet with her instead of trying to work complains about said prof for hours while on Facebook and then starts going off on me and calling me a "teachers pet" because I have been getting better grades (also doing more the amount required because this is a higher level class and the more work you do, the better off you are on tests). The main problem is that she does not seem to be doing all the questions and isn't formatting the assignments correctly. She also is writing one sentence answers to questions that should be a paragraph or longer. I pointed that out when she shows me her past assignments (her grades on them were not "good" and I agreed and she gets annoyed/pissy and goes back on the "I don't mean to offend you but...teachers pet" stuff. At this point I feign being ill and leave because I had enough. If you don't understand a question or how to format, okay. But, I'm not giving direct answers, at most website or two if it's something not in our textbook or that easy to find, and I'm not going to sit there and be treated like crap either.
(The other recent was like this but an older friend getting P.O.'d at me for not remembering the name of some database and getting huffy when I mentioned having to go through my books and things to see if I had the name of it. I didn't so I did a web search and found a couple possible answers...but ugh.)
Is there any good way to handle this or make my feelings known and just not have anyone but also not have to feel worthless? Or should I not make them known and just keep letting things go on as they are so I'm not "lonely"?