||[Mar. 5th, 2014|01:46 pm]
The Question Club
You badly have to poop. You run into a public restroom, which has only one stall. There's no seat covers, so you hover and do your business. RELIEF. Now, as you complete your dump, you notice there's no toilet paper. And as stated earlier, no seat covers. What do you do?
Forgo wiping. Make it a point to do so later
Pull pants up and waddle to the sink, where the paper towels are, grab a few, and go back to the stall to finish up
Take off sock. Wipe with that
Remove underwear. Wipe with that
Reach inside purse for tissues. Use those
You're walking to your car late at night. You're about 3 cars away, when you hear a growl. It's a midsize dog, no collar, growling at you. It's body looks tense, teeth bared. What do you do?
I love dogs! I quickly move over towards it, hand extended and try and pet it
Back away slowly. Hopefully, I can backpedal peacefully, and find a new route to my car
Same as above, but with head bowed. No eye contact made
Make strong eye contact. Dog will respect you more
Reach into my purse for pepper spray
Get on all fours, make a soothing voice, and in a humble way, try and approach the dog long enough to let him know that I'm no threat
Stand up tall and straight, and make a loud roar. I'm sure if the dog feels that I'm a large threat, it'll run away
Play dead. It works on bears, doesn't it?
Pick up a stick and throw it. Dog will run and chase it, right?
You're at a bar. A man walks in, announces loudly that he was acquitted of beating his wife because there was a general lack of evidence. 'Don't you love our legal system, he says. Drinks are on me! I'm going to pay her a visit after I get my booze on'. You take your free drink and grumble. About 20 minutes later, you're making your way to the bathroom when you see the man sittin at his table, choking on a chicken wing. His face is turning blue. The music is loud and the lights dim, and no one else is aware of his plight. What do you do?
Go to the bartender and tell him what's going on. Let him deal with it
Make a loud announcement that there's a man who needs assistance. Maybe a Good Samaritan will step up
Run over and give him the Heimlich myself
Keep walking to the restroom. Karma's a bitch, isn't it
For shits and giggles, you and your SO make cheat lists. A list of 5 celebrities you're allowed to have sex with, and it's permittable. What are the odds, right? Well, the two of you are at a bar one night, and #3 on your list is there! And pretty drunk. He/she approaches you, puts a hand around your waist and asks if you'd like to come back to their apartment, how he/she is dying to test out this new mattress. You look at your SO, and your SO looks at you. He/she looks slightly pained, but says, a deal's a deal. Go have fun and I'll see you tomorrow. What do you do?
Go off with the celebrity for naughty times
Thank the celebrity, tell him/her that you're flattered, but you're in a relationship and will not cheat
Try and work a threesome in
Same as above. You and your mate have the cheat list, except this time, the #3 person on your SO's list is there and asks your SO to come back to his/her place, and a wink-wink. Your SO looks at you and you look at your SO. What do you do?
'A deal's a deal. Have fun.' I stay at the bar and get shit-faced drunk, depressed
'A deal's a deal. Have fun.' I go home unworried, knowing that my SO will see me later and give me all the juicy deetz
Stand up to the celebrity, and introduce yourself as your SO's boyfriend/girlfriend, and that the celebrity can go to hell
Same as above, but in a nicer, more diplomatic way
Try and work a threesome