|So you might be a werewolf if...
||[Jun. 11th, 2013|01:06 pm]
The Question Club
For the third straight full moon now, you've woken up outside, naked, with blood over your mouth. What would you suspect was the issue?
Roofies. Someone keeps giving me roofies and taking me to steak tartar restaurants
I'm probably a werewolf
Gotta cut back on the drinking. Too many blackouts
Attempted rape, though I think I may have castrated the rapist
I can't say for sure, but 3 times in the last couple months is a new low. I think I'm getting better
I think I'm involved in some kind of kinky nocturnal exhibitionist orgy. Also, I may sleepwalk/sleepfuck
What would it take to convince you you were a werewolf?
Pretty much the second time I woke up naked, covered in blood
Someone named Van Helsing or Van Halen keeps leaving messages on my phone
Sudden allergy to silver
Angry mob with torches and pitchforks (where do you ever find those things in the city?)
Sheep slaughter is on the rise and I keep waking up with wool in my teeth
I'm on Team Jacob. Duh
My dog keeps barking at me and trying to hump me more than usual
After I make dinner, I have this sudden urge to howl at the moon
I have to wax my body twice as often now
Let's say you finally admit that you're a lycanthrope. Obviously this will change your life a lot, and demand that you alter your lifestyle a little. What changes do you foresee happening?
This pretty much blows my vegan diet out the window
Living with Lycanthropy support groups
Having to be tied down to my bed every month, and yet not getting laid
Having to wear spandex, stretchy undergarments under my clothes so I don't wake up naked any longer
Having to really get in good shape if I'm going to waking up undressed in public every month
This weird, unnatural hatred towards goths and all things vampire related (if I already don't)
Having to restrain myself from sniffing people's butts when I first meet them
Constant shaving of body. There will be a lot of stubble