||[Mar. 29th, 2013|03:44 pm]
The Question Club
Do you think that emotional abuse is on par with physical abuse?|
EDIT FOR CONTEXT:
I was having a conversation with a friend recently about the experiences I had at two different elementary schools. In school A, I and most of my peers engaged in school fights regularly. When you had a problem with someone, you were open and honest about your dislike for each other, and if things escalated you might get into a fight with the other person at some point. This was true for guys and girls.
In school B, people rarely expressed their dislike for one another openly. You would talk to your friends about the other person and how much you disliked them, and you'd either avoid the person, act passive-aggressively, or in some cases, be friendly to them to preserve harmony. Getting into a fight with someone was a huge deal that would get you suspended.
In my opinion, I much preferred going to school A. I feel like even though there could be a distinct lack of harmony, it was much more of a relief to be able to express your feelings and not feel bad about it. And strangely, the fights would usually end the problem right there. I remember becoming friends with girls that I've slapped in the face! School B was actually much harder to deal with because you wouldn't know who to trust or who was truly your friend and the passive-aggression wound up being more psychologically wearisome due to the hot-n-coldness of it. Oddly, I practically pined for the days when we could all just yell at each other and be done with it.
And yes, I understand that it's school, which is much different from adult life but it made think about how a lot of social rules about conflict and violence seem...distorted? It seems like people are extremely wary of violence (understandably so) but I do wonder if having a culture that's a bit more accepting of it would be psychologically healthier in some ways?
As a disclaimer, I understand completely that we can't and shouldn't go around beating the crap out of anyone we don't like. However, violence is an expression of a valid emotion--anger. And maybe it would be good for some to just be fought out (in all seriousness).
SECOND EDIT FOR CONTEXT:
And sorry, I just realized that 'abuse' was really not the correct term to use. I guess I should have been more clear from the get-go. I'm not sure of a more succinct/single word to describe it but see the above description for a better description of what I meant.