||[Oct. 19th, 2012|02:53 pm]
The Question Club
regarding one night stands and guys wanting casual sex:|
what do I tell someone if they come onto me in a club, think they're getting lucky and want to take me back to their place/come back to mine? I have no intention of having sex with any of them, protected or otherwise. But I'm not sure how to tell them. The other week, I met a straight guy whilst dancing in a gay club. At the end of the night I was going to go home, and he insisted on coming back with me. Not once did I suggest to him that he would be getting anything out of coming back with me, or that I was "experienced". I tried to hint that I was going home *alone*, but he didn't seem to get it and came back anyway. I liked the guy, sure. We kissed and cuddled and stripped to our underwear back at my room, and he told me that he wouldn't make me do anything I didn't want to do. And he didn't. But obviously there were some hard feelings on his behalf the morning after, because he made up this whole bullshit thing about how I should let him know if I wanted to go to gigs, and even called me to give me his number. When I texted him, he didn't reply. As I expected.
This one night stand/hopeful, horny guy thing isn't unbeknownst to me. It's happened on four different occasions with 4 different guys. They all for some reason thought they'd got lucky, or that just for being there I owed them sex, or something. And the more I tried to tell them that wasn't the case, the more persistent they were, thinking somehow they could change my mind, following me back to friends' houses like whining, pitiful dogs begging for scraps of food, even when there was none promised. I won't deny that on some of these occasions I could be accused of having "led them on" simply by dancing with them or kissing them, but I don't know what else you can do when you're just trying to have fun and dance and a massive man decided he wants to dance with you, then go someone quiet for some "fun".
should I just outright tell said men that I can't promise them anything sex-wise?
what else can I do to stop this kind of thing from happening again?