"I hope you're not one of those OCD types who's always cleaning. What's too much cleaning? Like more than once every two weeks is excessive, for me anyway"
"Do you smoke out? I got a big bag of purple kush in my van. I say we get high in the parking lot after the meal"
Is really muscular, and proceeds to spend no less than a third of the date talking about his special diet, fitness routine, and how many reps he can do
"I'll have the burger, but can I have you put the sauce on the side. And I need exactly one pickle, and exactly one tomato slice. And I dislike poppyseed buns. And the cheese can't be too melty. Got all that?" Very picky person apparently
"Might I say that you have a superb ass? Your ass is near perfect. I could praise your ass all day. I just wanna smack it"
"I listen to only country music. Can't get enough. Expect me to change all your radio presets when you're not looking, because I'm gonna convert you too"
Drops the "That's what she said" joke at a good moment. Very funny. But drops that line another 8 times during the date, at points that weren't funny or clever
You get close to your date and detect a whiff of body odor. Armpit. Isn't wearing deodorant
"Yeah, I smoke. Guilty. I try to stop, but it's hard. I'm down to 2 packs a day"
"Wait for it....(fart)...HAHAHAHA. That was a good one. Farts are hilarious. Hmm. I may have another one left in the chamber. Let's get it out, shall we? (face of concentration)
Real quiet talker. In the restaurant, you had to ask your date to repeat themself at least 10 times. The restaurant wasn't even that noisy
"I'm positive the waiter spit in my food. I just know. He seems like a spitter and he didn't make eye contact with me. He hates me for sure. We'll see how hard he's laughing when he gets no tip. Hahaha buddy"
Seems normal enough, but throughout the meal, orders 6 hard drinks, and wants to hit a bar afterwards. Drinks a tad too much maybe?
"I don't support gay marriage. It's for their own good. Marriage sounds so boring. The gays are so lucky they don't get to marry. They can boink whomever they want. I want to preserve that for them!"
Has a high pitched, very loud laugh. The kind people at other tables will turn their heads to stare. Likes to laugh a lot