"Transformers 3 was the best movie ever made! It had everything! I must have seen it 100 times in theaters"
"I'm considered to be a sexual offender. By law, I have to announce myself to new neighbors. I learned my lesson about sexing minors, believe me. That was 5 years ago. I was young and foolish"
"Have you ever tried....swinging? You know, sharing partners. It's a lot of fun, lemme tellya"
"Yep. Three kids, each with 3 different mothers. Ages? Oh, they're about 6 months apart in age"
"I collect guns. I've got about 49 of em, all prepped and ready to go if I need them. No one ever fucks with me"
"Like my neck tattoo? Insane Clown Posse for life! That shit's insane"
"Do you smoke? Smoke weed, I mean. I think you can really get to know somebody by getting high with them, and I brought a baggie with me"
"Pitbulls are greatly misunderstood. They're not as violent as people think. I've got about 6 of them in my house. It may take a bit before they get to know you, but once they do, they're sweet"
"I've been unemployed for 3 years. The State gives me money and food stamps, so I get by. What's the point of working?"
"My last relationship was physically degrading, so I've taken a vow of chastity. No sex until marriage. But I be emotionally available for you anytime"
"Tipping is such a liberal handout tradition; giving money to people who don't deserve it. Europe really has the right idea, for they don't tip, I hear. The waiters already get an hourly wage"
"I don't have a problem with gay people, but I have to say that what they do utterly disgusts me and I will never want them to marry"
"Oh, I'm very pro-gay marriage. Hell, my last 3 relationships have all been same-sex, so it'd be hypocritical of me to vote otherwise. Haha"
"Say...this may sound like an odd question, but do you have herpes? No? Oh...just making conversation"
"My car is my baby. I rebuilt her from scratch. Half my paychecks go into maintaining that magnificent honey"