||[Oct. 3rd, 2011|12:14 pm]
The Question Club
For like 5 years I dated a worthless drunk, Tom. I met Tom through my circle of friends, so we shared the same friends before/during/after our relationship. I ended up breaking up with Tom after he beat me one night, and then he spent two years crying omg about how he'd never find someone as awesome as me (duh, sorry bro) and just basically pined for me in the most pathetic ways possible. He cried on the shoulders of anyone that would listen and made a 2 year long mess out of the whole thing. During these two years I took a sabbatical from our common friends because I didn't want to deal with sadsappy Tom especially if he might be drinking. And during these two years Tom devolved into such a pathetic waste that had to rely on his friends for help so much they all pretty much got really tired of him.
Fast forward to today. I'm no longer on sabbatical with my friends, but I try to plan carefully that I go out on nights when I'm pretty sure Tom won't be around. So far we haven't had to do the whole "same party, same time" thing. But this upcoming Friday appears to be different.
It's the birthday party of two friends of mine. Both of them really don't like Tom. Both of them are, you know, friends of mine. Not BFF or anything, but totally friendly. They announced this party via Facebook and I took note of it but didn't respond. Today they sent out an email asking for people to RSVP so that the bar will know how much extra staff to hire. So I run over to FB and get ready to hit "accept" and I see that Tom has already accepted.
Should I go? Should I try to contact Tom directly to let him know I'm going? Ask him not to go? Contact my buddy's who bday it is and ask them to uninvite him? Basically, wtf should I do?
EDIT: Tom recently emailed me to tell me he was working on the steps of AA and asked to meet up for whatever that apology step was. I declined, mostly because I think it's horsecrap and he's still drinking again -- all I know for sure is that no one's commented on him not drinking, which would be a miracle. This will be at a bar, so if he's drinking he will be drinking...
EDIT #2: I'm sure I'll be safe. My biggest concern is basically my ex throwing a hissy fit and bringing stupid amounts of drama to the birthday parties of two people who don't deserve stupid amounts of drama.