|My rod and my staff, they comfort me
||[Aug. 26th, 2011|05:25 pm]
The Question Club
I just got this email that says it can increase my penis size by 12 INCHES in just 5 minutes!!!!!!! Wow, right? The price is steep, but there's various payment methods: cash in small bills, credit card, or mail them my wallet and they'll mail back what they don't need. Definitely eager to please.They have new technology that no one else does: a dick-enhancing ray gun. Stephen Hawking, Bill Gates and Billy Mays were designing it, so it must be good. How should I pay for it?
Mail in my wallet
Um...this sounds sketchy to me. It was all believable up til the Stephen Hawking part. Why does he want a big dick?
There's a bonus offer: if I order in the next 5 minutes, they'll give me TWICE the merchandise if I just double my payment. Wow, right?
Wow. Like you said. What is this, a utopia we're living in?
Pfft. It'll probably be just as effective as the Sham-Wow
Sounds pretty iffy to me. You're just throwing your money away
You should have held out for 3x the product for just triple the payment. That's a good deal
Sucker. Everybody knows that, like Spiderman, you have to be bitten by a radioactive penis in order to get bigger
What can I do with a foot and a half of sausage?
Have sex with WNBA players (they're the only ones left)
Cockslap my enemies....to death
Put a targeting scope on it so I can aim it better. It has to travel a further distance now
Use it as a perch for all the neighborhood birds
Strap an umbrella to it on those rainy days for hand-free movement
Churn butter. Why should only the Amish have fun?
Hold impromptu limbo contests on the street
Be my own 'three-legged race' applicant
Mount my cell phone on it for hands-free phone use
Ring doorbells when my hands are full
Carry a baker's dozen of donuts without having to use the box. Yay, environment
Go fishing. I can use 2 fishing lines now
Start preparations for a 24" penis