"This Thursday will be my first year being clean. If it weren't for rehab...and Jesus...I'd still be on that train to junkietown"
"Let's play 'who was your most awkward kiss?' I'll go first: my cub scout leader in second grade"
"Currently not working, but I know my band's going to make it big. The Fucking Badasses will be a household name, you'll see"
"I always like to instill a bit of honesty in any prospective relationship. I must tell you that 5 years ago, I had a sex change. I used to be named Sabrina"
"Well, I'm out of practice. I haven't been on a date in 7 years. Yeah, the last relationship lasted seven years and ended last month, but I'm totally ok with that"
"Stray cats are numerous and actively deplete the population of birds and mice in the city, and for this reason I'm strongly for a city-wide plan to exterminate all cats without collars. I have a bat"
"My last relationship ended because she was kind of a big whore, but that's ok, so was I. But I got that out of my system"
"I'm a DJ at a gay furry club. I'm not really into that stuff, but it's fun to watch"
"Someday we'll tell our kids how we met today. Oh, no pressure or anything haha. Though I do want 4"
"I bet I can guess what color underwear you're wearing. Is it...none?"
"I hope you're not the jealous sort. I have tattoos of everybody who's been important to me, including seven of my exes. It's all behind me, but it's good to know where I'm coming from"
"I'm really bad at names, so I think I'm going to give you a nickname until your name ingrains itself in my brain. How about Pickles?"
"Yeah, it's a bit ostentatious, my 'rubber' hand, but I couldn't afford the really good prosthetics. It does look pretty fake, doesn't it?"
"So, what kind of birth control are you on? Does it work pretty good? Oh, just curious"
"I'm...not gay or anything, but that guy to your left is pretty damn good looking. If I was...gay...that'd be my type. I really like his hair and jawline. But only if I was gay, of course. Hehehe"