||[Oct. 30th, 2010|06:08 pm]
The Question Club
My husband took a short jaunt overseas a couple of weeks ago, for work purposes. Not a full-on deployment, just...an adventure in babysitting, shall we say?|
Since he got back...he's been growing a beard. At the very least, it's a moustache that desperately wants to be a beard when it grows up. He says he's getting an early start on Movember.
I could get behind that - anything that convinces men to pay a little more attention to their health has to be a good thing - but this is not your standard, slightly weedy Movember effort. It is bad. It is, after three weeks of growth, by far the worst, most feral crop of hairy evil ever to infest a human face. He looks like a deranged serial killer who hasn't slept since at least Tuesday, and that's about as good as it gets.
And he likes it. Says it makes him look distinguished - this might be a joke (it's the sort of thing he'd find hilarious) but he's stroking his chin a lot while he grins about it, so I can't be sure.
I'm seriously contemplating slipping knock-out drops into his coffee and hacking the thing off while he sleeps, because...honestly, maybe it's just me, but 'deranged serial killer who desperately needs more sleep' is not a good look. Waking up unexpectedly at 3 AM is not good when that is two inches away!
- Persuade him to get rid of it?
- Trick him?
- Go with my gut and knock him out for a painless surgical removal of this hairy parasite?
- Annoy his command structure until they give enough of a shit to make him get rid of it?
- Dye it pink?
- Something else?
How would you deal with this particular Stupid Husband Trick?
ETA: I can't supply pics. His command would be very annoyed if his face got plastered all over the internet!