The Question Club

Let's suppose that in the 2012 Presidental Election that the GOP selected Romney to represent the Republican party, thus marginalizing Sarah Palin and her legion of Teabaggers. Sarah then decides to run as a third party: the Tea Party, and picks Larry the Cable Guy, er, I mean Joe the Plumber as her running mate. The nation scoffs, but due to national apathy, neither primary party generates a great deal of votes from their base, as the economy and Afghanistan have rendered the nation depressed about the future. Palin's supporters, fanatical and unyielding as a pitbull, vote en masse and every last person who doesn't understand how taxes work votes for Palin and she beats out the Obama and Romney and becomes President. You imagining that? Ok. The question here is: which country would you move to?

Palin's first act as president is to stop all gay marriage, gays in the military, and gays on Project Runway (only judges who support bonnets and full length skirts). The GOP-majority Congress (major turnover of seats in 2010) back her up all the way and the Democrat senators are too disorganized to know what to be angry at first and fail to stop Sarah's anti-gay ambitions. Next, in order to stop the 'homosexual agenda' from converting our kids to sin, she makes it illegal for gays to teach, hold public office or purchase property. Since she can't tell who's gay, the only acid test out there is marriage. Only married people are fer sure straight and only they can teach, hold office or purchase property. All unmarried people lose their rights. What do you do?

Next on the chopping block are welfare, unemployment and any other 'handout program'. All benefits are cut so the illegals can't make any money off Uncle Sam. If you need money, the only outlet is: JOIN THE ARMY. All benefits are not only reinstated, but you get subsidized housing, courtesy of the U.S. Military. All those who can't pay go to Debtor's prison and now that the army has more bodies than ever, the U.S. is going to war against Iran. How does this affect you?

In order to fund these wars, Palin authorizes...no, demands drilling in every national park and wetland out there. Nothing is protected or off-limits. This drilling gambit pays off and dozens of key oil sites are discovered and America is rolling in black gold. Palin leans on our allies heavily and makes them buy their oil from us. To celebrate this abundance of oil, Ford and the other American auto makers discontinue all their lines except SUVs, which are suddenly in high demand. SUVs are now everywhere and given Palin's recent repeal of all environmental laws, the skies grow dark with smog. What color will your SUV be?