||[Aug. 13th, 2010|02:26 pm]
The Question Club
Let's say there was a new voice for the Tea Party, and he/she was even more extreme and idiotic than Sarah Palin. This person's declared that Obama was keeping the borders open, so that liberal socialist countries could send over homosexual agenda-laden extremists to our country, recruiting our kids to homosexuality and making them want to get pregnant and have abortions, thus making simple conservative Americans combine their fears of gays, sexuality active women and illegals. He/she is the toast of the Fox News and an is rumoured to be Sarah Palin's running mate in 2012. The interesting thing is that this person looks JUST LIKE YOU. In every way. What now?
Dye my hair, get it cut, change myself in every physical way possible so that I no longer resemble this person
Make the most of it. Find out what restaurants/shops are run by Fox News-watching owners and try and get free meals/merchandise while pretending to be this person
This is obviously a sign from above. I immediately join the Tea Party
Try my best to sabotage this person's public image. I'll dress like this person and hang out in porn shops and gay nightclubs, and urinate in public as much as possible
Because of your uncanny similarity, a representative of this person approaches you and offers you a job...impersonating him/her. "____ is too busy to attend every rally and convention, so we'd appreciate it if you could read speeches in front of arenas he/she can't attend, thus passing on the good word. You'll read detailed speeches handwritten by your look-a-like and you'll be helping make America sever it's ties with illegal gay abortionist teen-sexing recruiters, and thus returning this country back to salt-of-the-earth straight God-fearing people. We will pay you $50,000 per appearance and there's about 10 appearances lined up. You'll be doing the Lord's work here. What do you say?"
Ok. That's a lot of money and I'd just be preaching to the choir, so what harm can I do
No way. I could never in good conscience endorse such bologna
I'd agree, but use the opportunity to sabotage my twin's ambitions in front of thousands of followers by 'outing' Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck and explaining how those 2 homosexuals are secrety trying to ban the bible and take away people's guns
I happily accept, It'd be my honor to support this person and spread their noble vision to the world.