"No...No....NOOOO!! I HATE CONFINED PLACES! It makes me go CRAZY!!" They start throwing themselves at the elevator doors and pounding aggressively against it and does not stop until they eventually open
"The important thing is that you're comfortable these next 2 hours...why don't you take your pants off, like I'm going to"
"Say...how do you feel about Scientology? There's a few interesting tests I can read to you. You may consider these 120 minutes the most important time in your entire life"
"Um...this is highly embarrassing...I'm lactose intolerant and I was on my way up to the third floor, where there's a public restroom. This is going to be really embarrassing. Say, do you have any paper?"
"OMG! They're watching us! I know it! And they just made their move, trapping us in this elevator, but I'M ONTO YOU, SPACE ALIENS! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE EITHER OF US ALIVE!"
"Know what really helps calm me down? Martial arts training. Why don't you get up and let's spar a little bit and that'll blow off some steam. Really, Insist. Get up"
"2 hours! Fuck that shit. I've never worked on one before, but I'm sure I can get this elevator up and running licketty split. Help me take this control panel off and I'll start rewiring everything and save us both"
"Don't judge me but the only thing that calms me down is by touching myself. You can watch if you want, or partake if it helps calm you down too"
"You look like a chill person. I know how we can kill 2 hours" He then reaches into his jacket and pulls out some heroin
"This is not how I wanted to make your acquaintance, but this is a golden opportunity. I've been following you for weeks, you see. Following you to work, ogling you at night through my camera. I think I may be in love with you"
"We'll be ok. I have my lucky charm, you see. I never go anywhere without my lucky hand grenade. It got me through some tough times"
"Come here and let's join hands and pray for divine intervention. I bet we can squeeze in 3 rosaries"
"I hope Betty will be ok. She's my pet tarantula. Would you like to hold her? She's very fond of strangers"
He says nothing. Just sits in the corner and pulls out a pair of X-Ray Specs, puts them on and proceeds to stare at you with a smile on his face
"THIS IS YOUR FAULT THE ELEVATOR STOPPED. WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU'D BETTER FIX IT IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU. I have a drug deal to make and my client's unhappy, I'm unhappy and then you'll be really unhappy"